You Think God - Brahmacharya

Guruji always used to say, "You take practice, you think God."

As I look around, I see there is a lot of practice going on, specifically asana practice, which is great, and inspiring in many ways;  but somehow the second part of Guruji's teaching seems to have been forgotten, overlooked, or conveniently  omitted, and what concerns me that this oversight of "God thinking" reduces our practice to merely circus tricks.

Guruji also said, "Yoga is mind-control."

His words were simple, and hit exactly on point.
In many ways, yoga isn't actually about our physical practice at all.  Rather, it is concerned with controlling our mental-world, and specifically, how we direct our thoughts.  If we are really yearning to practice yoga, and seek to attain the ultimate goal of waking up our inner Divine Nature, then we need to take Guruji's words to heart, and continually practice directing our thoughts towards God.

This is also called: Brahmacharya.

Literally the word brahmacharya means, "the path that leads to Brahman" or "moving in Brahman."

Brahman is the fabric of the universe, Absolute Reality. It has nothing similar to it and nothing different from it.  It is Infinity.  In Vedanta philosophy, it is described as saccidananda: sat (Existence absolute), cit (Consciousness absolute), and ananda (Bliss absolute).
(A concise Dictionary of Indian Philosophy, John Grimes, 2009).

In his classic work entitled, Sadhana, Swami Sivananda states that there are three things essential for God-realization: constantly remembering God, cultivating the yamas (ethical codes of conduct), and making every activity an offering to the Divine (p.32).
He suggests that alongside ahimsa (non-injury) and satya (truthfulness) that brahmacharya is, without doubt, one of the most important virtues to develop through our spiritual practice.
I would go so far as to say, that without integrating a practice of brahmacharya there can be no hope of progressing in true Yoga at all.

This begs the question, how can we develop more in the field of brahmacharya?
I feel it begins by creating a clear intention to shift all of our thoughts, words and deeds into closer alignment with God.  This includes increasing our investment in all of the people, places, and things that encourage us to cultivate a more intimate connection to Brahman, and reducing our exposure to everything that pulls us further away.

We must start by developing our awareness around who and what are we surrounding ourselves with.  Are we generating positive thoughts or cycling in negativity?  What are we watching?  What are we reading?  How are we spending our time?  Are we wasting our energy chasing after fleeting experiences and momentary gratification?  Are we feeding our senses or our soul?

We need to examine and evaluate our mind, speech and actions to determine whether we are being propelled closer to the goal of Yoga - Self Realization, or driven by old habits of obsessive ego-gratification.  Is our yoga practice motivated by a desire for deeper union with "God," both within and without, or is it pushed by an insatiable hunger for the fickle affection of others, fame and fortune, or instant pleasure?

I practice asana because it is a very effective tool for directing my attention more acutely towards the Infinite.  I can see the direct results of this integration happening on a deeper level in my approach to life.  Taking the time to make contact with the pulse of this ancient life-force, even for a second each day, generates more internal positive energy then I can describe.  However, this is rarely a pretty process, neither is it a perfect one; frequently it is baptized through sweat and tears, and hardly ever do I have a practice that feels "YouTube" worthy.  It is a private sacrifice of my ego each day; and regardless of whether I'm crawling or floating, I know that I am aiming to align my inner world, and consequently, the rest of my life with Brahman.
And if I have nothing else to show for my efforts, at least I have that - an honest yearning for God in my heart.

David Williams is often quoted as saying, "Yoga is all the things you can't see."
I believe this to be true.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what your jump-backs look like, how long you can hold a handstand, or whether or not you can grab your ankles in a backbend.  How your practice looks on the outside is inconsequential, what matters is the effect it is having on the inside.

Yoga is a path that leads to God-Realization, and if it isn't heading in that direction, you are on a different path.

When we start to nurture our practice with the understanding of moving in Brahma, we begin to engage the world with an different attitude.  We start to experience the beautiful art of self-surrender: "I am Thine; All is Thine; Thy will be done." We begin to ask questions like "how can I serve" instead of "what can this do for me."

Often brahmacharya is defined as celibacy.  However, celibacy need not only mean sexual restraint.

The whole idea of creating a more celibate environment, is to purify not only one's body, but more importantly, one's mind, so that all faculties of attention can be one-pointedly focused in unbroken communion with the Source of all existence.  When we actually start to feel this Reality as the ancient Source of all things, pulsating both within, and all around, we can begin to practice yoga continuously, uninterruptedly, all day long, in everything we do.
Another one of Guruji's favourite quotes comes from Patanjali Yoga Sutras "sa tu dirgha-kala-nairantarya-satkarasevito drdha-bhumih" (1:14).  "Practice becomes firmly established when done continuously, without break, for a long long time, with sincere devotion." 

Lara Land has been talking about brahmacharya all month, and wrote an exceptional piece on her blog, Adventures in Yogaland, at the start of September.  I hope you will read it.  There is so much to think about and talk about on this subject - that it might possibly take us a lifetime to introspect and put it all into practice!

One thing is for sure...  Ashtanga Yoga holds so much more promise then just the physical aspect of asana, and we must start to actualize All Eight Limbs in our daily experience.

This is where the growth is.  This alone, will take us on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.

Om
Harmony

A Summer in Mysore India

As many of you may already know, we spent the past two months in Mysore, India, with a small hand-selected group of students who were chosen to practice with Sharath Jois for a special course focused on deepening our understanding of this authentic system of yoga.

I took this time as a sabbatical, and allowed myself to be absorbed into the ever persistent call to present moment awareness that is necessary for diving deeper into oneself during periods of intense practice and learning.  Thus, I'm only writing about the experience now.  I can feel myself beginning to speed up again to the pace of North American life, and the last two months is already drifting into some distant memory.  Time is funny that way.  Especially time in India.

I'm not sure I've really processed it all yet, as we have not even reached our home in Victoria, but as the lingering exhaustion of the twelve-hour time difference slowly subsides, I am aware that something within myself has shifted.

It is difficult to exactly put into words what has changed, but I seem to have a greater sense of direction and confidence.

I feel honoured to have been counted amongst such a prestigious group of practitioners and teachers from around the world, and to have had this allotted time to share with them in our mutual struggles and triumphs.  I now understand that the difficulties of transmitting this authentic lineage of teachings are the same all over the world, and that those students who grab hold of this practice and experience the transformation that it will inevitably bring, are unique seekers of truth and higher wisdom.  I see what a blessing it is to be amongst those chosen to pass on this practice in the stream of the parampara; and I feel it is my duty to be a pillar for those who seek refuge from the onslaught of quasi-yoga classes offered on mass in the West.

I know that more will reveal itself to me as time passes.
For now, this is enough.

But... Green is my Life!

Jediah and I were driving yesterday in our car, and I pointed out how the construction crew had cut down a whole bunch of trees in one area to make a clearing for a new road and bridge that they are building near our home.

At which point he says, with a very sad tone in his voice,
"but... Green is my life!"

I started to smile and as always, I was in awe of how profound, yet simple, the words of a three year old could be, and I replied, "it is true, Green is my life too.  Green is everyone's life."

We were on our way to the doctor, and at the office I was flipping through a magazine and came across this advertisement for Conservation.org. It was incredibly effective, and since Jediah was there due to some trouble with his breathing, it seemed very synchronistic to our current situation.

It reminded me that we are so intricately connected to nature that sometimes it is easy to overlook how absolutely essential and necessary it is for our existence.  Everything we need and depend on is provided by nature - yes... even your computer and iPhone! 

For example, did you know that there is no living thing on this planet that can survive without water?
In an ideal environment, a human may be able to last a total of 12 days without water, but more then likely would die sometime around the five day point.

Here in Canada, we are championed in environmental activism by David Suzuki and his foundation. They bring attention to many issues, and also provide simple solutions that are easy to incorporate into your daily routine, and can significantly help to reduce our negative impact on this planet. You see, every breath we take, everything we eat or drink, and everything we own is derived from nature, even our homes are made from natural materials. We are completely dependent upon sustaining a harmonious environmental balance for our survival.

Here are a few quick facts from Conservation.org that you might find enlightening:

Conservation.org

1. At least half of all medicines in use worldwide are derived directly from natural components, primarily from tropical forests. Antiviral drugs and painkillers are among the modern medicines obtained from coral reefs.  Only a small fraction of tropical rainforest species have been analyzed for their medicinal properties. We may yet discover more cures in nature — if we don’t destroy them first.
2. Most large, modern structures are made from concrete, glass and steel. All three are derived from nature. Steel making is one of the world’s leading industrial sources of greenhouse gases. In 2010, according to the International Energy Agency, the iron and steel industry accounted for approximately 6.7% of total world CO2 emissions.
3. Most vehicles run on fossil fuels like diesel and gasoline. According to the U.S. Energy Information Administration, there are fewer than 1.3 trillion barrels of crude oil left in the world oil reserve, which at the current rate of consumption would last the world only 41 more years.
4. Deforestation accounts for 20% of all carbon emissions, which is twice the amount that all the cars, trucks and planes in the world emit, combined.  That's pretty major, as there are more than 1 billion vehicles on the road worldwide, including buses and trucks, which are themselves, disproportionately heavy polluters.
5. The production of one hamburger releases as many greenhouse gases into the atmosphere as driving a car 10 miles.
6. The production of one burger requires 7,000 liters (about 1,850 gallons) of water, the bulk of which is used to grow grain for cattle feed.
7. Beef production uses about 60% of the world's agricultural land, yet provides less than 2% of the world's calories.
8. Because cattle ranching requires large tracts of land, producers frequently clear-cut tropical forest to provide pastures for their herds. Extensive cattle ranching accounts for 80% of the amazon's deforestation.
9. Palm oil is an edible vegetable oil found in about half of all the packaged food products on supermarket shelves — not just baked goods and snacks, but also cosmetics and lotions, soaps and detergents, even pet food.  Palm oil is incredibly productive, producing far more oil than other crops on the same amount of land. Today, a third of all vegetable oil used worldwide is palm oil.  However, most palm oil is produced on large industrial plantations, primarily in Indonesia and Malaysia. Often, tropical forests are cleared to make way for oil palm plantations that are destroying the habitat for endangered species like the orangutan. This deforestation also releases carbon into the atmosphere as carbon dioxide, contributing to global climate change.

Not to overwhelm you with the issues at hand; but, knowledge is power, and it is important to understand what is happening so we can make informed choices in how to respond and protect the environment that supports us day in and day out.

Our yoga teacher R. Sharath Jois is also very passionate about the environment and protecting nature.  I found a shirt he made awhile back that has on the it one of his favorite sayings from that period in time:  Save Nature - Nature Saves You.  I have always admired this about him, the fact that he see this Ashtanga Yoga Practice expanding beyond simply the asana into how we treat our environment, the animals, and of course other people too.

Each day we should wake up with gratitude for all that we have, most of all for this beautiful planet that nourishes and supports us through the endless offering of herself.  That is the reason why Nature is conceptualized as a Mother, because she gives and gives without hesitation, without reserve, unconditionally loving and supporting us to the detriment of her own welfare, and will continue to do so until she is completely depleted.  Any mother understands this innate inclination of sacrificial offering and unlimited relinquishing of everything, for her children.

David Swenson was quoted in Yoga International, as saying "the definition of a yogi that I like most is this: A yogi is one who leave a place just a little nicer then when they arrived!"
I think this is a brilliant definition, much better then: "the one who can do the most handstands!" (that's another issue for another day).

My friend Lara Land started a movement to encourage more awareness of bringing our practice into every aspect of our day both on and off the mat.  It's called All Eight Limbs and you can read more about it on her blog Adventures in Yogaland.  I think this is a wonderful idea, and I am excited to support her in reminding all the yogis out there that our practice has to be about more then bending and stretching, it has to be about transformation, of not only for ourselves, but for our whole planet!
(aside: I'm pretty sure that our world doesn't need more handstands; rather, it needs more people making the world a kinder, and more sustainable place for every living being).

So, as you go, try your best to tred lightly on this planet and leave it a nicer, cleaner, happier home for everyone, because Green is our life, whether we want it to be or not.

Let's bring our yoga alive - and start living our practice - All Eight Limbs!  

Moving Beyond the Practice Plateau

When I first came to the practice of Yoga, like many, I immediately fell in love with it.  The sensation of lightness and clarity I had after my first class was like nothing I had experienced before.  It blew my mind.  I was hooked.  Each practice brought with it a sense of euphoria, and the changes in my body and mind were both obvious and exciting. 

I've seen this same initial passion for practice in many students over the years.  At the beginning it is encouraging to see all the visible transformation happening, and you might even get to taste a little bit of bliss, an aftereffect from this practice, which is distinctly different from any other activity you might have dabbled in.  

However, after some time, maybe months, if you're lucky it's years, the fascination and exhilaration wear off, and all that's left is you and your practice day in and day out.  

The changes become imperceptible, and the overwhelming sense of well-being that was so novel at the beginning becomes your new normal; and it's around this time that the practice starts to get hard; consequently,  I would argue that this is when the real yoga truly begins.   

Unfortunately, it seems that it is also around this time that one starts to hit a wall or plateau and many students head for the door and start to look for the next best thing to entertain their minds, bodies and senses; some fall back into old patterns that work against the practice, while others move onto something more gratifying to their ego.  

For those who decide to stick with it, many obstacles and challenges come up along the way that act to deter or sidetrack us from keeping our eyes firmly fixed on the goal of liberation or Self-realization.  

Personally, I found that difficulties often arise to keep my ego in check.  They are obstacles disguised as life-lessons and opportunities to go deeper into what Yoga really is all about, and what it's calling us to become.  They are like a spur that urges me to get unstuck from that universal habit of stroking my ego with pride about some physical or pseudo-spiritual achievement.  They help me to refocus on what is important, and identify less with the things that are not real and do not ultimately matter.  

Over the years, I’ve become very conscious about trying to remain unattached to the fruits of my practice because in the past, it has seemed that whenever I started to feel a little bit high on myself it never takes very long for the great fall from grace to come, and I have to pick myself up and start from the beginning again.  

Once we start on the path of yoga it can be a long journey back home to our True Self.  

One of Guruji's favourite quotes from the Yoga Sutras was: sa tu dirgha kala nairantarya satkarasevito drdha bhumih  
"Practice becomes firmly established when it has been cultivated without interruption and with sincere devotion over a long long period of time." (Yoga Sutra 1:14)  

This is the recipe for a successful yoga practice.  It must be sustained without interruption and with love for the practice for a long long period of time, likely your entire lifetime, and possibly several lifetimes (if you believe in that kind of thing).

I often compare the relationship we have to our practice with a marriage.  At the beginning it is all rainbows and butterflies, excitement, passion, and adoration; but after some years, your spouse becomes so close to you that at times you barely notice them, their presence is your new normal as the titillation of unfamiliarity is replaced by routine.  

You might not even realize how integrated that person is into the very fabric of your soul until they are gone.  In many ways they start to act as a mirror for you, to see all of your own stuff, both good and bad, and all the areas you need to work on, if you are to evolve spiritually and become a better person.  Interestingly, if you can see this, and respond positively, you will figure out a way to keep that spark alive through the test of time, and your relationship will have the space it needs to grow, and change, and move through all the different phases of life together.  
You will be able to adapt and overcome all the obstacles and struggles that undoubtedly will come up along the way because you are open to giving your whole self, without reservation, and your love and connection will become deeper then you ever could have imagined.  You verily become One.  
You are yoked - this is also Yoga.

It is the same with your yoga practice.  Over time it will go through different stages and phases. Growth will not always be in an upward moving linear projection.  Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning to understand the inner workings more deeply, to get reestablished in something we missed the first time.  The practice also acts like a mirror showing us our areas of weakness and the places in our lives where we need to let go.  Ultimately, if you stick with this practice through the good periods as well as the less enjoyable ones, it gets interwoven into every moment of your day.  
 It becomes your time to connect intimately with the Divine.  

It becomes your very heart.  

Gratitude For Guruji

It was five years ago, May 18, 2009, that Sri K Pattabhi Jois (Guruji) passed away.  We were fortunate to spend time some quality time with him a month earlier in his home, just the three of us together with Joseph Dunham.  On our final visit with him, we said our goodbyes, touched his feet, and he started chanting in sanskrit, which we interpreted as his way of giving us his blessing before we had to leave, we both knew it would be that last time we would see him alive.  He seemed to know that too. 

Every day when I practice I always remember him, and my heart is filled with gratitude.

Guruji’s tradition of Ashtanga Yoga has given me my life as it is today.  Outside of my parents and their continuous love and support, this lineage of yoga has been the most influential factor in my personal growth and development.

This practice came to me at a time in my life when I was really struggling.  It saved me.  You could say that almost everything good in my life has come as a result of this turning point. 

Prior to learning this practice I battled with addictions, eating disorders, and in general a huge lack of self-esteem, which resulted in my many self-destructive behaviours and choices.  Upon finding this practice I started feeling better about myself, and I began living inside my own skin for the first time in as long as I could remember. 

Through this practice of Ashtanga Yoga I developed more compassion and love towards myself, which was an entirely new experience.  This allowed me to feel my connection to others more deeply, which aroused more positive choices that stemmed from forgiving myself, and releasing the past. 

It was because of this practice that I met my now husband, and love of my life, Jeff Lichty.  

We traveled the world together, taught together, started a Yoga School together, and have a son together, who lights up our whole universe, and has taught me the meaning of selfless service and unconditional love.  

Therefore, it is with the deepest gratitude that I continue to dedicate my daily practice to Guruji and his lineage.  I always hear him when I chant the invocation, and feel his force supporting me as I teach.  His commitment and devotion is an endless inspiration for me.

Guruji had many gifts.  He had a way of seeing things in a person.  He would know you could do something even when you didn't believe it yourself.  He was a philosopher at heart, and always enjoyed a good laugh.  He welcomed questions, and loved to hear any gossip or news about his students.  Whenever we would call he would always ask, "when are you coming?" even if we had just arrived back home.  He loved to teach - it was truly his dharma, and there was almost nothing that could keep him away from it.

  

You couldn't be in Guruji's presence and not feel your heart overflowing with affection.  He was humble and yet fierce.  Everyone that had the privilege of being his student was deeply touched and transformed by his presence, and we all felt a unique and special connection with him.

He would be so happy to see the growing number of students who have been healed and touch by the Ashtanga Yoga practice.  I think he would be proud that his legacy is continuing on through the teachers he blessed.  I consider myself very fortunate to be amongst this group of inspired practitioners who reside under his guiding light, and continue to keep his memory alive and teach what we have received from him, and from this practice that he loved. 

Om Sri Gurubhyo Namah

Guru Tattva

Sometime I hear this idea that a Guru or a Teacher is not really necessary on the path of Yoga.   Be your own Guru.  Find the Teacher within.  These are common sentiments that are out there in the Yoga Community at large.  

The true teachings of Yoga however, have always been passed down through the relationship of Teacher to Student in a line of transmission called parampara.  The Guru is absolutely necessary.  He or She is there to shine a light on your blind spots.  

The Teacher is your road map on the spiritual path.  God works through your Guru to help guide you in your practice and eliminate any inner obstacles that can come up along the way.  In India they have a saying that "just as you need the flame of an already burning candle to light the wick of another candle; likewise, only an illumined soul can light the inner lamp of another person."  Consequently, we need the direct contact of a True Teacher to help enlighten us, to wake us up inside, and get the spark going.  

I would say that it is difficult, if not entirely impossible, to see ourselves clearly.  As a result, we need the help of a Guru to hold up the mirror and give us clarity so that we can overcome our lower nature and negative qualities.  The Guru represents the one's ideal of perfection, and is the pattern from which one wishes to mould oneself after.  It is a challenge for the human mind to conceive of an Infinite Formless God, so in the physical form of the Guru, the mind attaches itself more easily and begins to see God within this physical embodiment.  Through our reverence, obedience, and willingness to surrender to a True Teacher we are able to connect to the Ultimate Reality that exists everywhere beyond form and time.

On a practical level, the Teacher is able to lift our spirits and helps to keep us motivated in our practice during difficult times along the path.  Even the mere presence of one's Teacher can help elevate one’s mood and enhance one's consciousness.  

However, the work, the sadhana, the spiritual practice must be done by the student.  A Guru cannot bestow a miraculous awakening onto anyone, but He or She is there to show us the door, but as a student, we must do the work, and have the courage and determination to walk through it.

Om Tat Sat

On My Way To The Other Shore...

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. 

~ Christopher Columbus ~

I guess I've been blessed in some ways to have been exposed to the idea of "practice" from a young age.  Growing up I was completely committed to perfecting the art of ballet, as well as other dance forms, and I would practice seven days a week to the point of exhaustion.  However, because of this dedication, I never have been one to shy away from a little hard work.  I like a challenge, and I enjoy activities that drive to the heart of feeling alive in some way.  Over the years I've noticed that these activities usually involve some element of risk, whether it be emotional, mental or physical.  They also tend to bring up some kind of unpleasant sensation or pain that is shadowed in pursuit of a higher beauty or a greater sense of freedom.  They also include being brutally honest about where you are and how you're doing because "faking it" can cause serious problems for yourself or others.
I've never been one to dabble.  If I'm in - I'm fully in, and when I'm out - I'm fully out.   

I've noticed these same qualities exist in authentic spiritual pursuits, which are transformative in nature.  An honest and powerful spiritual practice is going to take you into the very heart of your pain.  It will drive you directly into the storm.  If we are to harness the power of chaos, we must first identify what is driving all the turmoil.  Perhaps you are doubting that you too have a raging storm within yourself, I encourage you to go deeper...  you have not yet begun to even touch upon the periphery of the truth of who you are or what you are capable of.    

An honest and powerful spiritual practice is going to make you feel a little uncomfortable at times, and it may even hurt a bit; you will be sure to taste the sweet pain of being alive. 
It will stir up some strong reactions, and shake you out of your conditioned way of thinking and seeing the world.  It will shine a light on all your unexamined beliefs, and rip away everything you cling to or hide behind, forcing you see all the presumptions that are no longer true.

Any authentic spiritual practice is going to agitate the hell out of you and leave you feeling raw and exposed.  All of this and more happens for your own liberation.
For it is not until we die to our preconceived notions of who we are that we can truly start living in the freedom of our Higher Self.

Finally, when everything external and superfluous has been stripped away, and our inner light is all that remains, the spontaneous experiential realization of our interconnectedness arises.  However, in my experience, this process is neither blissful nor easy, and it certainly isn't all warm and fuzzy.
It is birthed from an ocean of sweat and tears, a balance of effort and surrender coupled with an unwavering willfulness and relentless receptivity.  It requires honesty with where I am at mentally, physically and spiritually on any given day, and a readiness to see where I fall short and make the changes necessary without hesitation.

It demands vulnerability, which for me, is mostly really scary.  I am not happy all the time, I'm certainly not perfect, and I fail on a daily basis; but each morning I get up and attempt to do better.  I get on my mat and look into the mirror of my practice and realize I am not my victories nor my failures, I am not my body nor my mind, I simply am.  

The path to liberation is difficult and not well-worn. It remains hidden from the masses who are content to appease their pain by seeking pleasure, stroking their ego, and wrapping themselves in a false sense of bliss.  A true and deep spiritual practice is only discovered by the courageous souls who are not content to settle for merely existing, and in response to their inner call are willing to sacrifice their safe abode to embark upon a threatening process of metamorphosis to discover the extraordinary pulse of life that surges in every cell of creation.

The rewards are beyond what we can conceive or imagine... a lifetime changed.



Yet, we must be willing to do the work, to get messy while renovating our psyche.  Only then will we have the clarity to see the obstacles within ourselves and the wisdom to know how to remove them.

It will take dedication, determination, and devotion.
We must be tenacious and never give up.

Rise with me! You Come!

Stand today and make a vow to stay committed to this deep and demanding process of transformation.
 
AND Keep going... Never Look Back...   

I will meet you on the other side.

Steeped in gratitude I rejoice 

Spirit Awakened

A lifetime... Changed

For I have dipped my Soul 

In the Ocean of Yoga

~ Dena Kingsberg ~

An Unexpected Joy

After becoming a mother I experienced some significant changes in the way I conceived what a daily ashtanga yoga practice looked like.  In the years before, I had been relatively uncompromising in my approach to practice, and even during my pregnancy I was able to continue doing something that resembled my regular practice fairly closely, which at the time included asana, pranayama and meditation.  Although my asana practice changed considerably over the nine month period, I was still able to carve out a large portion of my morning and fully devote it to a time of personal practice, and pretty much whatever else I wanted to do.  After having our son Jediah, I learned very quickly that my time was no longer my own.

If you do not have children, or if you have never been in the position of having all the responsibility of taking care of a small helpless infant for the first time, then it is easy to underestimate the amount of energy and full-time one-pointed focus that goes into caring for a baby.  All of your heart, soul, body and mind is being drawn out by this tiny being, and there is not a lot of room for anything or anyone else (at least that was my experience).  I honestly felt that I had no time that was my own, and the brief periods I did find, felt like stolen moments, fleeting and unpredictable.  I would try to fit in some kind of semblance of a "regular practice" when Jediah was sleeping, but mostly it turned into a time of much needed rest for my sleep-deprived self. 

Although there were many times during that first year where I found myself frustrated with not being able to practice yoga in the manner I was used to, once I let go and surrendered to what was, rather then trying to force things into the way I wanted them to be, a whole new world opened up.  

Through the experience of motherhood, I was forced to look at my life with new eyes.  I began to see my practice of yoga expanding and reaching out beyond just the practice of asana, pranayama or meditation.  

To my own surprise, part of my yoga practice became singing devotional songs (bhajans) to my baby boy, and this included japa, the regular recitation of a mantra, through hours of crying and sleepless nights.  My new found practice involved embracing my role as a mother in the form of unconditional love, not only directed to my son, but also opening up to include each person I would meet; seeing the beautiful child residing within them, and their need to be seen, accepted, and loved.  For me, yoga became an immediate call to be fully present, whether I was making a meal, washing dishes, or changing diapers.  I practiced surya-namaskara whenever I saw the sun, and the deepest sense of gratitude and devotion would wash over me as I gave thanks for its warmth, for nature, for my precious child, and this beautiful gift of life. 

Don’t get me wrong, I completely still love my daily asana and pranayama practice, and I am so grateful to again have the time and space where I can make them a focused priority in my day once again.

However, I am also so grateful for this gift of motherhood that opened my eyes and my heart in a completely new and unexpected way.  

Even though it is probably the most challenging role of my life, it not only gave me a wondrous, magical little boy, who fills my world with awe and amazement, but it opened my mind to experiencing a greater depth within my own practice of yoga, and allowed me to see more clearly how it ought to be practiced and incorporated into everything I do, in many different ways, and I will be eternally grateful for that.    

Hari Om Tat Sat